"With Dorothy's payment we can afford one tripto the hairdresser's. Just a trim, mind!" I promise. I need to look smart for my job even if you don't, andeven my split-ends have split-ends. Now, let's go up to thebathroom. I need to shave you all over." Why? I'm going to be wearing slacks and long sleeves." You always say the costume is an essential part of getting intocharacter. Smooth, lady-like skin is just as important for that asyour padded bra and girdle. Now stop arguing and get upstairs." Can't we use that Nair stuff? Shaving all over is really scratchy." No, we haven't got any. But I'll rub you all over with Aloe Veraafterwards. Actually I like you all smooth and oily, so maybe wecan... make the most of it afterwards... if you know what I mean."Oh, I knew! I shelved my objections. Sex in the afternoon. Cool!The sheets needed changing anyway.= = =After our 'afterwards' Sally handed me one of Carol's bras and thebreast forms. After my practice getting into my. I triedvarious coping strategies, such as dressing more masculine, keeping myhair cut short, making more male friends at school and taking an interestin their hobbies. I immersed myself in my music, became highly proficientat guitar and keyboards, wrote songs, even recorded them- but every songI sang, I wished I was singing in a deeper voice. I exercised, wentrunning- but always wished I could run faster, wished my body wasphysically stronger. The coping strategies worked... Right up until mysixteenth birthday.For my birthday, my mother took me and my sisters (who at the time were18 and 10) out for a day of pampering. My hair- which was short at thetime- was styled into a very feminine pixie cut. My face was expertlymade-up, my nails manicured... And every second of it felt like torture. Ifelt uncomfortable, even foolish. I'd tried to get out of it by faking acold, but my mum insisted, after all- in her words- 'my sisters werereally looking forward to it'. Never mind what I wanted,.
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